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Red Deer Dumpster Fires jersey front

Red Deer Dumpster Fires

Red Deer Dumpster Fires

#03 · Ash Burnout

Newly launched · be one of the first to rep it
$44.99

The Red Deer Dumpster Fires play like everything is completely fine — which it isn't — in a stadium that smells faintly of charcoal and optimism. Blaze the Raccoon is on fire. The fans brought marshmallows. Their motto is embroidered on the inside collar so no one can see it, but everyone knows.

Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.

Dean DoucetteThe Dekekeeper

A fictional hands coach whose playing career ended the second he discovered he loved naming colorways more than finishing on the breakaway.

Hometown: Lewiston, Maine

Style: Offbeat mascots, internet-goblin themes, and logo ideas born from equal parts caffeine and locker-room dares.

Favorite chirp:Congrats on the effort, champ. The effort was not good, but congrats on locating it.

Missing teeth: 32

Postgame snack: Mini donuts in a paper helmet full of fries

Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.

Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.

Name (max 14 chars)

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  • Secure checkout

    Encrypted payment via Stripe. We never see your card details.

  • Printed to order

    Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.

  • Ships to US & Canada

    Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.

  • Defect & misprint guarantee

    If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.

  • Real humans, real support

    Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.

Product details

  • • 100% recycled polyester knit
  • • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
  • • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
  • • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
ahlparodyred-deer-dumpster-fires

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