Pensacola Frightening
Pensacola Frightening
#88 · Bolt Ugly
Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Pensacola Frightening play at The Jump Scare Arena where Florida Man energy is concentrated into 18,000 seats and Boltz the Electrified Nightmare Cat is always watching. The churros are somehow cold inside. This jersey contains an unknown amount of unhinged and we have not tested the upper limit.
Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.
Designed by
View full profile →Bryce Brodie “Biscuit”
A fictional former third-line winger who claims he once got two assists, a game misconduct, and engaged in some wildly suspect interior decorating all in the same weekend tournament.
Hometown: Flin Flon, Manitoba
Style: Loud diagonal striping, crispy shoulder pops, and colors that look like they were chosen during a 1 a.m. parking-lot strategy meeting.
Favorite chirp: “Buddy, your backcheck has the emotional support level of a folding chair.”
Missing teeth: 1
Postgame snack: Gas-station chicken strips dipped in ranch
Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.
Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.
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Printed to order
Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.
Ships to US & Canada
Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.
Defect & misprint guarantee
If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.
Real humans, real support
Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.
Product details
- • 100% recycled polyester knit
- • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
- • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
- • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
