Kalamazoo Dead Wings
Kalamazoo Dead Wings
#48 · Rigger Mortis
The Kalamazoo Dead Wings are not dead. They are simply resting — with all the existential stillness of a goth kid who shows up to every funeral 'for fun.' Stiff the Zombie Octopus haunts the Rigor Mortis Rink every game night, and the fans celebrate losses like they're beautiful. They kind of are.
Designed by
View full profile →Gordie Gagne “Gravy”
A fictional retiree from the golden age of awful pregame stretching. He treats every holiday jersey like a civic responsibility and every gravy stain like provenance.
Hometown: Thunder Bay, Ontario
Style: Seasonal chaos, heavyweight striping, and colors that look best under rink fluorescents and questionable life choices.
Favorite chirp: “If hustle burned calories, you would still be on the bench looking hungry.”
Missing teeth: 0
Postgame snack: Leftover stuffing between two buttered waffles
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