Fictional house designer
Gordie Gagne
“Gravy”
Holiday-jersey patriarch powered by leftovers, plaid, and zero restraint.
Gordie “Gravy” Gagne is a fictional elder statesman in the Jersey Junkies universe: a retired beer-league defender who sees seasonal sweaters as sacred work and considers gravy damage part of the creative process. He is a storefront character, not a real person, but the plaid authority is undeniable.
Scouting report
Hometown: Thunder Bay, Ontario
Signature style: Seasonal chaos, heavyweight striping, and colors that look best under rink fluorescents and questionable life choices.
Missing teeth: 0
Postgame snack: Leftover stuffing between two buttered waffles
Lore that should have stayed in the room
Locker-room reputation: Treats gravy on the playbook as a sign the concept has marinated.
Career lowlight: Pulled a hamstring stepping over a snowbank and still blamed the officials.
Favorite chirp: “If hustle burned calories, you would still be on the bench looking hungry.”
Current catalog damage
Jerseys by Gravy
5 sweaters across 1 category.
