Seattle Spiders
Friendly Neighborhood Spiders
#77 · spidey
The Seattle Spiders call The Arachnid Underpass home, a venue so low-ceilinged that tall players must hunch their shoulders to avoid the sprinklers. Their mascot, Clarence the Insecure Insect, spends the majority of games hiding inside his own costume, only emerging to drop a single, damp leaf onto the ice. The team’s primary strategy involves scattering red eyes across the rink like spilled cranberry sauce, a tactic that confuses opponents but mostly just makes the players look like they’ve been crying. Local fans are required to purchase a "Web-Wrap" sandwich from the concourse, which is just a hoagie with too much mayo and a distinct taste of regret.
Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.
Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.
Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.
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Printed to order
Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.
Ships to US & Canada
Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.
Defect & misprint guarantee
If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.
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Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.
Product details
- • 100% recycled polyester knit
- • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
- • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
- • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
