Scranton High Flyers
Scranton High Flyers
#20 · Baked Baker
Higher than their win percentage and twice as passionate, the Scranton High Flyers play at The Elevated Expectations Center where Baked the Red-Eyed Eagle watches everything through half-lidded suspicion. Philly fans will throw batteries at anything — including their own hope. This jersey comes with special herbal seasoning, allegedly.
Designed by
View full profile →Tony Battaglia “Bucket Hat”
A fictional former summer-league beautician of the power play who insists every good jersey should look equally ready for a breakaway or a patio beer tower.
Hometown: Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario
Style: Sunset fades, party energy, and suspiciously confident trim choices that somehow always score.
Favorite chirp: “You call that defense? I have seen folding tables close harder.”
Missing teeth: 3
Postgame snack: Pickle spears and lime tortilla chips
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