Provo What-The-Puck
Provo What-The-Puck
#04 · Heck Darnit
What the heck just happened? The Provo What-The-Puck Club plays with wholesome chaos at The Holy Puck Tabernacle, where Heck the Confused Cougar watches in bewilderment and the concession stand serves funeral potatoes in a waffle cone. Every swear word is replaced. The energy is genuinely threatening. Oh my heck.
Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.
Designed by
View full profile →Tony Battaglia “Bucket Hat”
A fictional former summer-league beautician of the power play who insists every good jersey should look equally ready for a breakaway or a patio beer tower.
Hometown: Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario
Style: Sunset fades, party energy, and suspiciously confident trim choices that somehow always score.
Favorite chirp: “You call that defense? I have seen folding tables close harder.”
Missing teeth: 3
Postgame snack: Pickle spears and lime tortilla chips
Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.
Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.
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Printed to order
Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.
Ships to US & Canada
Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.
Defect & misprint guarantee
If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.
Real humans, real support
Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.
Product details
- • 100% recycled polyester knit
- • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
- • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
- • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
