Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes
Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes
#74 · Walker Texas
Pain is temporary. The Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes injury report is forever. The Workers' Comp Coliseum has more ice packs per square foot than any other arena in the AHL, and Windy the Lawsuit-Pending Pig has seen things. Wear this and your back will mysteriously start hurting at the most convenient times.
Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.
Designed by
View full profile →Tony Battaglia “Bucket Hat”
A fictional former summer-league beautician of the power play who insists every good jersey should look equally ready for a breakaway or a patio beer tower.
Hometown: Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario
Style: Sunset fades, party energy, and suspiciously confident trim choices that somehow always score.
Favorite chirp: “You call that defense? I have seen folding tables close harder.”
Missing teeth: 3
Postgame snack: Pickle spears and lime tortilla chips
Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.
Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.
Name (max 14 chars)
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Printed to order
Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.
Ships to US & Canada
Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.
Defect & misprint guarantee
If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.
Real humans, real support
Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.
Product details
- • 100% recycled polyester knit
- • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
- • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
- • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
