Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes
Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes
#74 · Walker Texas
Pain is temporary. The Fayetteville Hurtin' Canes injury report is forever. The Workers' Comp Coliseum has more ice packs per square foot than any other arena in the AHL, and Windy the Lawsuit-Pending Pig has seen things. Wear this and your back will mysteriously start hurting at the most convenient times.
Designed by
View full profile →Tony Battaglia “Bucket Hat”
A fictional former summer-league beautician of the power play who insists every good jersey should look equally ready for a breakaway or a patio beer tower.
Hometown: Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario
Style: Sunset fades, party energy, and suspiciously confident trim choices that somehow always score.
Favorite chirp: “You call that defense? I have seen folding tables close harder.”
Missing teeth: 3
Postgame snack: Pickle spears and lime tortilla chips
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