Erir Pen-Pals
Erie Pen-Pals
#01 · R. Eply
The Erie Pen-Pals don't have rivals — they have correspondents. While other teams are throwing hands, these guys are throwing compliments. Founded by a group of beer leaguers who got banned for "being too supportive of the opposing team," the Pen-Pals believe hockey is really about the friendships you make along the way. Their pregame ritual is a group hug. Their power play strategy is "pass until everyone's had a turn." They've never won a fight because they keep apologizing mid-punch. Rep this jersey and let the world know: you're not here to compete, you're here to connect.
Jersey Junkies is a parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real team, league, or player. All names and designs are fictional and satirical.
Designed by
View full profile →Mickey Malloy “Nine Toes”
A fictional cult hero from the world of bad pond-tournament decisions. He designs every sweater like it owes him twenty bucks and a ride home.
Hometown: Duluth, Minnesota
Style: Heavy numbers, mean color blocking, and logos that feel one spilled beer away from a bench-clearing incident.
Favorite chirp: “I have seen pylons pivot faster than you, and at least they wear bright colors on purpose.”
Missing teeth: 5
Postgame snack: A hot dog rolled in nacho cheese and regret
Add your name and number on the back for +$5.00 — or leave blank to keep the default player.
Custom jerseys are final sale. Please double-check spelling before checkout.
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Printed to order
Every jersey is custom printed when you order it. Production takes 3–5 business days.
Ships to US & Canada
Standard shipping is 7–14 business days after production. Total: roughly 2–3 weeks.
Defect & misprint guarantee
If your jersey arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll replace it free. See policy.
Real humans, real support
Questions? Email orders@jerseyjunkies.io — we reply within 1–2 business days.
Product details
- • 100% recycled polyester knit
- • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking
- • Full sublimation all-over print — front, back, and sleeves
- • Crew neck with reinforced stitching
